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To the Touch
by Elizabeth Van Cleve (March 26, 1988)

Here I am

but where is he

All I know is

he's not with me

I can see him though

in everyone I know

and in all they do

I search those faces

for love I used to know

Who am I 

Sometimes, I am nothing

he would never believe that

Who is he

He is everything to me

I can hear him

as loud as the rain on the roof

as soft as a little baby's kiss

the constant echo that calls my name

I hear him

I really hear him

What does it mean

to have all you want

but not who you want

what would you want it all for

you'd always need more

Could you hold another

pray he'd be compassionate

Could you love another

tell him, it's forever

but dream it's Him instead

I feel him now

these arms gently rock me

my tears grow cold upon my face

"Forget about him," they'd say

my heart beats too loudly for my chest

the coursing anger flushes my face

Some day God

Some day Lord

I know, you'll work it out

You have before

You will again

as you always do

I smell him, Lord

like crisp night air

the smokey fireplace

the honeysuckle blossoms

the leather jacket, two rooms away

You let me

see him, hear him, smell him

You let me feel him

deep within me

But when, Lord

When can I touch him

When can I 

touch him

I need to press my lips

against his lips

my tongue against his tongue

my wet cheek against his strong cheek

shaven or not, I don't care

I need 

to lay my ear against his chest

feel his soft hair

against my face

and hear the beating of his heart

as if it were my own

I need

to kiss the back 

of his neck

and whisper in his ear

"I love you"

Let me know Lord

When?

Is it time?

If not, When?

Right now, I close my eyes

and know him

to the touch