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HOME FROM WORK
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ABSTRACT POEMS I from work got home.
I thought I was all alone.
I opened the door. A fact I could'nt ignore.
My mouth dropped to the floor,
She, sitting there in the chair, waiting for me.
All these thoughts in my head.
She was sitting on my bed.
I do wonder how she got a key.
I wondered how she got in. She said this game, she was going to win.
She said she made me something to eat. A delicious treat.
She took my hand. I did understand.
She, see, looked at me.
She looked at me with a smile.
She said why don't you stay awhile.
Chris, M. I think you have interesting style but it seems the vernacular and rhyming is a bit forced? "I from work got home." I was also reading" She, sitting there in the chair, waiting for me.All these thoughts in my head.She was sitting on my bed. I do wonder how she got a key." me, head, bed, key.
Also, "I opened the door. A fact I couldn't ignore. My mouth fell to the floor."
Try to focus more on the writing. What the passion is about. Reason over rhyme. And maybe less editorializing.
Best wishes,
Stephanie Peters