Author Information
Maze
I've made change
For better or worse
And I'm amazed
At the time it took
For me to open my eyes
Just in time
To escape the maze
To enjoy my life
I've made change
For better or worse
And I'm amazed
At the time it took
For me to open my eyes
Just in time
To escape the maze
To enjoy my life
Amazing
Labrynthine,
I wander (ed in here),
knowing there is
(a or) no directly
straight way out.
My (abnormal) life is too
(disparagingly) heavy, bogged
(exasperatingly) down with
unwanted (and worrisome)
weight (I desired often)
to be cast (happily) aside.
Lighter, I (judiciously) can
(with precision) see
(the or) a direct way out
of (the or) an excrutiating
maze (that has or) that
gripped my heart's
rhythm and (held
me back or) restrained
me too long.
Stella L. Crews
11-08-12
Inside the parentheses is the original, the suggested edit is the more concrete revision, the expanded image - all your vocabulary. - Lady A
I really enjoyed the
I really enjoyed the vocabulary you used and the word play, thank you for the constructive criticism
"It has become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -Albert Einstein