dreams

Folder: 
B.P.D.

i'm stuck in a suicidal dream bruised and torn in this broken machine i've been wishing to die but life won't let go i've been wishing to die but when i don't know and i have no clue how to do it quick the taste of the bleach leaves me feeling sick the gun i could use is nowhere to be found and the noose leaves a pile of shit on the ground i cry to myself my tears become a lake i scream to myself knowing i was a mistake there are razor scars on my arms and skin but they don't hurt as bad as the bruises within so i light a candle five circle i turn i laugh to myself as i feel the heat burn if i were to die this would be all i'd feel i'd hear satan laugh and the flames would reveal my blackened heart my cheap self esteem i cannot wake up from this suicidal dream

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was written when I was about 15 or so. I believe I have shown it to maybe 3 people in my life. I've debated for years now whether or not to post it here, considering how personal it is to me. At the time in my life it was written, suicide was all I could think about or focus on. It seemed to be the solution to all my problems... but it's not. And even to this day, when the quiet thought may creep into my mind, I am reminded of how precious life is, and still remains to be.

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