It took me by surprise, and it was
entirely my fault.
I was getting too close, and maybe
I was too much.
He knew, and I knew that he knew.
I was transparent,
always have been and always will be.
It's my curse.
I could never, ever hide what I feel.
That he pushed me away
shouldn't have come as a surprise.
But, silly me, it did.
And it hurt terribly...
my eyes still hurt with all the crying that I've done tonight.
And it's not yet over.
It pains me to stay away, but I have no claim on him.
Except friendship.
And when did that ever count?
Love is just so complicated.
Or maybe,
It's just me.