PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

An interesting thing happened to me as interesting things usually do. I was faced with a message from someone on a very popular social networking site.

He said,"Hey man, you don't know me but I know a girl that likes you. Interested?"

I took this at first for what it was, a stagnant attempt of trying to hook up a lonely friend. So I responded back in a less than stellar mood going on to say,

"Not really, I'm going through loads of relationship issues currently and I'm not looking for anything else to push onto my plate. Thanks anyway though."

"Well man, before I let you go I just want to ask, how good are you at handling crazy things?", he said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You good at secrets?"

I was starting to get a little agitated,"Look I really don't know what this is all about, but it's starting to seem like a lot of responsibility."

"Well then I'll just say it, the girl is my girlfriend and it would be awesome if you messaged her on this site and got her number"

I sat there looking at his sentence. Everything I thought about the conversation quickly changed in an instant. Now I have thirteen other possible scenerios and all of them ending in me needing an adult.

"I don't follow, what is it you're getting out of this? I mean why should I text your girlfriend?"

"Well you never know man. There's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. "

A fucking winky face. This has to be a joke, but it's not and I know it's not. I'm not even interested in finding a girl but this is actually really funny. I collect my thoughts and try to be a bit more direct than I have been. I say,

"Here's the deal man, I need to know exactly what your intentions are."

"My intentions are for you, my girlfriend, and I to get really drunk and have sex."

This is the part of the movie that is a freeze frame moment and my inner monolouge shows up to say how freaked out I am but I can't stop laughing. I'm half flattered and half grossed out but I'm one hundred percent dissappointed that I look like the kind of guy who would be into this type of thing.

"So yeah, you just said that. I'm flattered but there's no way I'm ever doing that. I don't even want to know what the girls name is. Good luck in your search.", I respond in the nicest way possible.

His rebuttle ,"Well thanks anyway, but maybe if you would just get her number and text her dirty stuff that would really turn me on"

Why did he have to finish with that?