Sense of Self

I don't want to be alone

but I hate to be bothered,

I'd like to feel important

destiny gripping five fingers

acting flush like my father,

Systems crash that dream's reality

When we find rationality without posture,

So bruised this broken concept

that talks shit to the bouncer

now led outside to wonder

with a parade of fleshy exchanges

all accumulating to something wicked,

A pulp of mangled confusion grows quite,

the sound of thunder

is the only thing that makes the sweating stop

 

People scare the hell out of me

like back when I was two feet

crawling around i.e.: basic toddler,

and when I get away

Its a bank hiest style escape

to some where far away

where my eyes can't decieve me

and the radiation is natural,

Out in the glow is where I'm formed

and made whole,

In this land of steel I've grown cold 

 

I keep darkness around

when the sun is in my eyes,

The aggravation of positive thoughts

poking me like pin pricks

in this useless synapse of connect the dots,

I've thought until the memory turns to rot,

If I cast the ballet, I cast it with the darker lot

of crooked cast aways,

I've ran the race

but sitting with the darkness I keep around

I find duality in its company,

 

When I'm alone, its easy

But being lonely is hard,

Guiding lights call to me

from a haze of faces laughing

all discussing the future

or the love of a life worth living,

covering their smiles with pint glasses

but the fire in their eyes is clear

 

 

 

 

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SSmoothie's picture

Bravo! !! Lots in here all of

Bravo! !! Lots in here all of it necessary!  Hugss 


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

allets's picture

"...a life worth living..."

It is (or for me mostly it was) now I do the easy and write to avoid lonely). Wallace Stevens: "I can not bring the world quite round, although I patch it as I can..." allets