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All there is,

all I have,

all I am,

is pain.



It defines me.

It never leaves me,

content to walk forever by my side,

along side and inside.



No matter how fast I try to run,

I have not been able to elude it.



It finds me,

all days,

all ways,

always.



I never seem to get

a step ahead.

It overtakes me

in no time at all.



I can never out pace it,

for it sets my paces

and controls my speed,

controls me and owns me.



Respite, relief, remission-

all words I have scratched

out of my dictionaries,

for they hold no meaning,

they describe nothing in my life.

They don't fit into my vocabulary.



PAIN- now there's a word

I relate to,

all too often it seems.

Its boldly highlighted,

and stands out above all other words.



If I could re-write Websters,

I would omit that word forever

if it meant the meaning would also

be erased.



But then again, it would still be there,

in a thesaurus, reminding me

that even without, PAIN

I'd still be left with agony, anguish,

suffering, hurting.



Its all there is anyway...

pain.