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Not Much More Can I Take
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Pain/Ilness List keeps building
ailments pile one on top of another
diagnosis dread fills me
at every doctors appointment
pill bottles multiply like rabbits
my body's become toxic wasteland.
I'm tired, I'm weak, I'm suffering.
Its said 'God doesn't give you
more than you can handle'
My cup of misery runnith over...
I sit, drowning inside
in a shallow pool of tears
from the overflow.
I couldn't handle more long ago
yet still it comes to me
again and again
and again.
Shoulders already hurting
slump from too much weight upon them.
I don't want anymore painful testing!
Yet, I must endure further torture
to 'get to the bottom of it'
Every part of me is pain...
even brushing my hair should be simple.
Its not...
its now a weakening, aching task I dread.
So much to do everyday
so much of it I can't do everyday
so much of it I force myself to do everyday
(since no one else will)
then I suffer so much more everyday.
Do you know what it does to your heart
when your child hugs you
and it hurts?
When holding your grandchild
causes you pain and weakness?
When being intimate with your husband
causes agony in your 'afterglow?'
This is my life
such as it is
so be it, I guess.
But there's not much more I can take
not much more at all.
