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It Taunts...It Mocks...
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Pain/Ilness Looking in the mirror,
she sees what she detests.
Telltale markings boldly pointing out,
almost like beacons.
The disease makes itself known.
Creeping through her muscles,
weakening her strength.
Robbing years off her young life.
It taunts...it mocks...
Attacking her bones.
Making them old and weary
long before their time.
Pains that linger
or,
pounce suddenly with a stabbing force!
Like a hot knife thrust in your chest!
And a twist of the blade thrown in.
(for good measure)
It taunts...it mocks...
Never actually leaving,
unrelenting in its course.
Years have passed
and she cannot recall one single pain-free day.
Seeping into every corner,
every part, every inch,
till it resides everywhere.
Holding her lease on life!
Never giving her any slack.
No respite nor rest.
It taunts...it mocks...
Sapping all her energy away,
feeling drained.
She knows she must rest to feel refreshed.
Still....
no amount of slumber
takes away the constant fatigue.
(Her husband tells her she even cries out in pain
and flinches in her sleep)
It taunts...it mocks...
Eyes burn. Vision suffers.
Hands, fingers, feet toes, go numb from cold.
Making simple tasks, painful trials.
All due to separate diseases,
(on invitation from the main one)
who make themselves at home in her body too.
'Associates' of her slow killer.
Known to travel together...to work together.
'Accomplices' of the brutal attacks.
It taunts...it mocks...
She hears it in her aching head.
Its right there along side the daily headaches.
Repeating over and over
as if a subliminal message.
"I own you. I control you. I can destroy you!
You cannot escape me. I follow you everywhere!"
Her own personal in-body stalker.
Hell bent on having her.
She battles it the only way she knows.
Swallowing little pills
2 and 3 times daily.
Hoping to poison it. To kill it.
Before it kills her.
It taunts...it mocks...
Sometimes, just sometimes,
she thinks of all those pills at once.
"That will kill it," she thinks.
"No more pain, no more suffering.
Sleep will come! Restful and long at last!"
But no...
then it wins after all.
And it was all for naught.
So...she continues.
(pausing as she writes this
as a sharp pain takes away her breath)
It taunts...it mocks...
She's grown so use to it by now.
Part of her every days.
Mentally she marks off the days of survival on a calendar.
She thinks of her children.
Mostly of her little girl.
(This disease tends to prefer female victims)
Will this end with herself?
Or will the legacy she leaves her children,
be one of disease and pain too?
It taunts...it mocks...
She remembers all she's done,
all she has yet to do.
So much ahead.
So much to see.
So much to accomplish still.
She goes on...
out of sheer survival instincts.
Like a cornered animal she fights back.
It attacks harder.
She fights back harder.
It taunts...it mocks...
It always will.
She wants to scream out loud,
at the injustice of it all!!
"Damnit!!! I HURT! I CAN'T take any more pain!
STOP!!
What do you want from me?!"
She wants to curse it down.
Pound her fists on the floor
in a crumpled heap of defeat.
Shake her fisted, hurting hands towards Heaven,
asking, through choking sobs,
"WHY?"
Sometimes, she does.
When she's all alone.
Sometimes....she does.
