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I cry myself to sleep at night,
And awake still with the pain.
I wish some days were different,
But they are all the same.

Could you possibly imagine,
Existing in this hell?
Rarely having moments,
When you are feeling well?

Knowing that there is no cure,
For what rips your strength away?
Nothing to be done,
No matter how hard you pray?

Not having any energy,
To do things with your kids?
Being physically drained,
From what little bit you did?

Wincing always from the pain,
When someone is holding you too tight?
The guilt cause your not, the person you were,
Because of this disease you fight?

Not getting your housework done,
Because you constantly feel so sore?
Seeing your family suffer,
Because you can't do more?

Screaming when you are alone,
so no one else can hear?
Cursing this damn affliction,
through a clouded haze of tears?

Trying to do what you can,
When every single part of you hurts?
Wondering if tomorrow, will be better,
Or if you will just feel worse?

I hope you never have to feel this,
I hope you never have to know.
What living with Lupus is like,
Praying you'll live, to watch your children grow.

Could you live like this,
Hurting through and through?
Asking these questions every day,
I have to...............could you?

2001