Closed

Who do I let in?
When I feel like I can’t win.
Letting it slip,
Someone give me grip.

I never meant to offend,
But I’m hard to mend.
I can’t let you know,
Feelings I’ll never show,

It’s hard to control,
This agonising roll.
Behaviour is appalling,
Continued as I’m falling.

Ask the right questions,
Make good suggestions.
I can’t tell you,
If you don’t ensue.

I love you so very much,
And my heart you touch.
My problems belong to me,
That’s why you can’t see.

You can ask away,
But don’t make me say.
Lend me a hand,
If you understand.

Help if you can,
If you have a plan.
Know it’s hard for me,
Difficult to be free.

Bottled for so long,
The bind is strong.
Can’t find release,
Break off a piece.

No room at the Inn,
No view of my sin.
Accept I’m closed.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm one of these people who is so proud that they never like to admit their moments of weakness to the people who'd help them. I don't like my friends knowing that a lot of the time my train of thought isn't full of hope and ambition, it's actually clouded with doubt, fear and a wish to escape it all. I don't know if this is a normal thing, maybe I'm just like everybody else but all these people not sharing their worries makes me fear that there's something wrong with me. When I do eventually burst because I can't hold it in any longer I find that all the worry and stress can be tamed with a friendly voice but I never learn and still I bottle everything up. Anyway I hope you guys like this poem.

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