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The Pain Inside Me
As the pain inside grows each day
I feel myself being ripped away
The enormous growth in the colon
Feeling like my life is stolen
My family not knowing what’s going on
Just going day to day like nothing wrong
How do I tell them I gonna die
I don’t want my kids to look at me and cry
And so we head off to camp once more
Before we find out what’s in store
Standing in the camper making dinner
I just wonder If its cause I’m a sinner
What in my life did I do
To make me have this to go through
The pain and aching at my side
I just wanna run and hide
And so I look at my kids once more
For it is them who I adore
As I sit there by that campfire
Just feeling like I was a liar
If only they would know that this was our last
Cause my time has come where I will pass
No more family trip again
For the road is gonna end.
Finally we got home
My kids just set out to roam
I suddenly had to realize
That my colon has doubled in size
Making the drive to see what’s going on
Just hoping it hasn’t been to long
All that they could do
Is cut me open and take some tissue
And so I lay there on that bed
All I can think of is being dead
Looking down at below my chest
Just thinking I need some rest
The scars are open wide
I know they’ll never hide
It had been a long day
My family is so far away
I would like to clear my life at this rate
To start out fresh nothing on my plate
Getting home was a chore
For I had no idea what was in store
I laid in bed to heal my pain
The doctors say I’ll never be the same
No to help me with a ride
For he wasn’t by my side
And so I finally get home
I have to do it all alone
Three kids waiting for me
If only they knew what the future would be
Remission came to me atlas
The doctors say this shall be the past
My life has left the ground
I starting nursing….getting around
The memories with my kids are great
I even think of going on a date
Christmas has come once more
I got them presents from the store
This would be the last
Because my pain came from my past
In April I had a scare
The tumor surfaced once more
The surgery didn’t work this time
My life wouldn’t ever be mine
Just memories of all my past
I just hope that they will last
I feel the energy draining down
My spirits have hit the ground
And as I know my time will end
I just remember the promise from him
He promised me if I have faith each day
He’ll take my pain all away
And so I lay here on this bed
Trying to just raise my head
All the strength that I have is gone
For I know that I have no one
Then suddenly my son comes in
Sitting by my bed I just listen to him
It will be the last that we will see
For my life will end in misery
And as we talk before I die
I just try not to cry
He’s so strong the better one
Be was always the good son
I can only recognize him now
For I don’t remember the family somehow
The cancer ate away my brain
I guess that is why I think I’m insane
And as he walked out of my room
I knew the time was certainly soon
I just closed my eye’s to cry….
For that night I surely did die…….
