Author Information
The False Mask of Masculinity
Folder:
"Social Issues" (My Opinions) I agree with the film, "Tough Guise," in which masculinity is only a pose or a mask used. A prominent idea that the film shows is the insults involved that other boys/men use to help box you into a narrow concept of manliness. These insults include fag, pussy, sissy, etc. For example, I remember when I was nine my friends who were other boys came over to my home. When dinnertime came they saw my Dad cooking dinner, mopping the floor, etc. in the kitchen instead of my Mom. After we ate we went to my room where they scoffed me for having a "sissy daddy" and that their fathers usually didn't do such things like my father. What they didn't understand, however, is that my Mom worked the night shift and my Dad was left to cook, clean, and take care of both us children. He had to learn how to cook since he couldn't depend on my Mom to do all the cooking for dinner. Also, he told me once years later that he wanted to alleviate some of the stress my Mom was going through in maintaining both the household and the children. In my opinion, my friends's derision of having a "sissy father" years ago worked in a way in order to upset me so that I wouldn't end up like my father who was doing the housework a woman would be thought to do. My friends may see my Dad as womanish because of it but I think something more important can be seen. My dad took the role of a PARENT and a caring SPOUSE which is something much more important than being a manly father. He learned to cook so that he can feed his children when his wife is unavailable. He had to clean up after cooking since no one else in the household would do it. Basically, he didn't always DEPEND on his wife to get things done. My dad may not fit in a box of manliness which believe is stupid, but he did far more important things than to just be a macho figure to his family.
beautiful ode to dad showing love, highest regard and respect for him as individual. I agree with all of what you say here and glad to see that he did not feel his manhood challenged because he was willingly helping out. If would be so great if more men did this. Not just because of work shift differences but for caring and respect of their spouse as well in general..You are very lucky to have a dad like this.It's rare to see..
It is true that sometimes people can think that men who do things that women can do, are often labeled as girly, womanly, and all that crap that others may throw at a guy who does something that woman does, but that doesn't make him any less of a strong guy. It only makes him stronger, rather than being all macho and stuff. You can still do stuff that a girl can, and still be a man that you are, and that explains a lot to me that you really do understand why your father did all those things, and that it was because when your mom wasn't around to do all that because she had to take the night shift, he was the one who had to learn how to do all these things in order to provide food for you and to clean up after when dinner was done!! It's really nice that you wrote this, and I think that it makes you courageous to be able to write this out without fear, and I admire that about you!! If I were married, and if my husband was to clean up and cook and stuff and take care of the children while I'm not around (that is if we decide to adopt one day), then that's something that I wouldn't think less of, but to think more of, as the guy who knows what to do when there's no one else around to do it. Good job on writing this, Bryan!! You're a really good writer!! Well done!! =) LOL