Author Information
Fade to Grey
You look at me, and I don't speak,
you wonder why, but you can't see,
the words unspoken, the thoughts,
on which I'm choking, no, you can't see,
what's so plain to me.
I'm able to look into, I can see right through,
to all the cracks you've buried over the years,
under the tears and all the make believe,
buried deep down in, I can see, just what,
you need, and I know, just what to be,
and I know, just what you need.
Every warning said, every word, gone unheeded,
every time I've fought that losing fight,
and every time I was willing to bleed,
just to see, one more smile from you, oh,
all of you, yeah, everytime, I became,
what it was, that you'd need.
I'm in love with the imperfect, lusting for the broken,
I try to fix you, hoping, one day,
oh, one day, someone will come along,
to find the pieces, I can no longer find,
to help me back, oh,
to help me back to, a better state of mind.
Mending the cracks, sealing over, the wounds,
makes me feel, worth a damn, gives meaning,
to my nothing, fills this void, with,
the glimmer of something.
I live, daily with, an emptiness,
emotions felt, briefly, flitting through,
this numb haze, only ever lifted,
by your simple praises, doing something, for others,
doing something, anything, for just one more smile,
anything, just to feel, for a little while.
How sad, that must sound, and how sad,
you must think I am, oh, how sad,
but the truth isn't so simple, no,
the truth is equal parts, good and bad.
I thrive on pleasing, the one I care for most,
it fills the dead inside me, with life anew, life,
renewed, makes a weary soul, lift its head, once more,
once more, willing, to onward go.
I'll give my everything, use myself up, with a smile,
just to be, all you need, and because I'm willing,
to sacrifice, I'm good, at being used, and I'm good,
at, enjoying, your abuse.
You'll see my smile, through my tears,
as I'm willing to hope, next time, oh, the next time,
will be the one, where you repay, the faith,
placed in you, where, you'll return the love, and,
friendship, that I gave......
never needed asking, no, never did,
that I gave.....
You will see those tears, dry on my face,
as my eyes grow cold, you'll see,
just what it's like, when I've had enough,
when, I just turn away, when, I take my warmth,
that you've taken for granted, when,
I go, and fade away, and your world of colors,
fades to grey.
In your world of colors, brightness, accustomed to,
never a need for asking, all of it, freely given,
the joy of sharing, loving, every one of your smiles,
sharing, the secrets of my heart, sharing,
the special places, where my treasures, I hide.
You fuck it up, I take it back, no more love to see,
no more, secret parts of me, no, no more,
and with time, you become, as little more,
than nothing to me, for it isn't much,
but it's all, I have.
I'd give you every,
last bit, of my grace, what I saved,
after my fall, it could have been yours,
everything and all, when you reject it,
you spit on, my treasures, on my,
everything, my everything,
my all.
You spit on my everything, on a heart,
so badly bruised, forgotten its true color, now,
all faded blacks and blues, you spit,
on the vain hopes placed in you,
never realizing, what exactly, it costs,
placing hopes in others when,
living a life so adrift, so, lost.
Oh, and you spit on me, never seeing,
all, the words unspoken, no, you, never see,
all the thoughts, that, are, choking me, oh,
you never seem, to, ever know, now,
just what it's like, to be, oh,
to be looking at you out of blue eyes, now,
no, you never seem to, ever see,
just what it is, just what it's like,
to be me.
