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My own decay
Putting the razor blade on my skin
in a downwards movement I begin
I watch the blood run down my arm
it feels so good to do myself harm
it is such a relief for the mental pain
to feel the stinging cut on my arm again
I put the blade to my skin once more
I do this a couple of times just to be sure
that I can't feel what's inside of me any longer
so instead I'm feeding this sadistic hunger
As I silently watch my arm bleed
I think to myself, well isn't this neat
now I don't feel tired or really sick
all I can feel now is the adrenalin kick
in this moment I am in love with the pain
as I see the blood flows from my vein
I know now that I will survive
this cold blade is what keeps me alive
I decide to put the appealing blade away
until I once again need to hasten my own decay
This is chilling, frightening, not just that you would do yourself harm, but that the demons within you are such that the physical pain would relieve them. I don't like the subject matter, don't like to think of you hurting yourself, but the writing is powerful. I feel the emotion, the torment in every word. I hope someone hears your cry for help; you have so much talent, it would be a shame for it to be lost.