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Army Boss.

How I hated that Parade Ground, Marching until I thought that my legs would fall off, Slow march, Quick march, marching on the spot, Other various forms of both mental and physical torture fresh from the brain of a Sergeant that was determined to show the world that he had earned his third stripe. As a Lance Corporal he was a no good idiot, as a full Corporal I was told he practiced in his room giving himself orders to upgrade his low mental courage.

My first encounter with this Despot was in the very beginning of my term as a Call Up Soldier. Looking at me with his squinting left eye he bawled out, “You look as if you can play an instrument, a proper musician I shouldn’t wonder.  My answer, bawling back, “No Sir I am no musician, I cannot play any musical instrument.” “Good,” he next bawled out, “You are from this minute on responsible for the latrines, Toilets or as most Soldiers called them the shit houses. His next words were, “didn’t you hear me off you go on the double.”

My idea of cleaning the toilets was to throw plenty of buckets of water all over the lavatory pans, the same with the urinals. I was quite an expert with buckets of water. There was never a minute that the toilets or shit houses were not flooded. Complaints soon reached the ears of my newfound friend the Sergeant. Inspections at odd times of the day were the result. The more this idiot inspected the wetter were the toilets. I must admit I was taking a chance but if this was this idiot’s idea of making a soldier out of me then he had definitely picked the wrong man to clean the toilets or shit houses.

Another young recruit was not making much of an effort in the marching drill. The poor sod had no idea of left and right. If the Sergeant bawled out left turn all did a perfect left turn apart from this recruit. His left was a perfect right turn and nothing the Sergeant said made any difference, He I was I am sorry to say ordered to take over the shit house cleaning and I took his place on the Parade Ground.

Fortunately for me I did know the difference between right and left. I could and did march with the best of them. My left and right recruit made a very poor job of the shit houses and complaints were made, not to the Idiot Sergeants face but when the Orderly Officer of the day made his barrack inspection the men of C room made sure that shit was everywhere except where it should have been deposited. The recruit was sent to see the Medical Officer. The lucky sod was dismissed from the Army as being not fit either mentally or physically. Fortunately new recruits came to the barracks and my idiot of a Sergeant had others to choose from. We soon had a new shit house cleaner that could not play a musical instrument. I had primed him on how to clean the toilets with buckets of water. The toilets are now as they were when I was ordered to become latrine cleaner or if you will shit house bod (Body).