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Doubt.
It is funny how you can feel so cold.
So cold about life.
I hate to feel so severe,
but all i feel is nothing.
A void has opened up, and i cannot fill it.
Life should be an adventure,
a brash world to be explored.
Pith helmet and torch, but i lack a guide.
I also lack interest.
Instead of excitement i have doubt,
and with doubt comes fear.
Fear of unkown paths and ways.
Life seems dictated by luck,
luck and circumstance.
I look at my cards and i think fold,
give up now before i gamble.
Then it happened.
It all came together as one,
one moment in time, so small and yet...
It was a throw away remark,
but it marked my cards.
Taught me i could win,
actually win at this game.
The game of life.
My Grandmother said the words.
She knew me inside out.
She sat and stared, stared into my very soul,
then she spoke.
"I know you find this life a trail,
but like every trial, there is a jury.
Stout honest people there to listen,
listen to your plea, even a plea for help.
Life is not all bad, it is what you make it.
Oh, and you dont get long,
but long enough to try,
to try and get it right".
and with that the defence rested its case.
I thought it over.
Then decided.
Sod it, deal me in!
What have i got to lose.
The jury is still out.
