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Mouser.



The distillery cat was flat on his back

He’d had too much to drink.

The silly moggy his mind was foggy

He could hardly think.



It was thee day he was on his way

His time was really up.

The rules require he must retire

So he had drunk from the goodbye cup!



Those little mice they didn’t think twice

they quickly ran amok

And in no time felt quite sublime

Could not believe their luck!



Tails in the air, Mouser so unaware

Their party had began.

For life’s a must, much was discussed

Like an employee ownership plan.



“Imagine if, Mouser was a stiff

And we all ruled this place,

By and large we’d be in charge

Something we could all embrace.”



But just at that appeared a Rat,

You know what they all say.

You’re never more than through a door

Away from their decay.



“Well gee whiz, so what is this

We have an open house.”

He said with grin, “I’ll just move in

And go and get my spouse.”



The mice felt down and wore a frown

And thought we can’t have this,

Awake that cat from off his mat

Get him out his drunken bliss.



So it was to great applause

He had ended up quite upset,

They’d  got the hose and gave a dose

Of water cold and wet!



Mouser howled then he scowled

Jumped up and cried aloud,

“I’ll get those mice they are my vice

They will end up in a shroud.”



The mice did flee with so much glee

The Rat it disappeared.

Mousers head felt like stale bread

His paws they went real weird.



And so it was, like an arbitration clause

Came in the Big Bad Boss.

“What’s all this noise I don’t enjoys,

I prefer a hearing loss!”



So Mouser stayed, a big blockade

And the mice he tipped a wink,

The big brown Rat, he don’t like a cat

That’s had too much to drink!



Now drink can make you think

It can feel  good alright.

Whiskey can make you frisky

But it can also make you fight!





For a Scottish cat enjoys combat

As much  as a Father loves his daughter,

Although there is a cure,

maybe it is obscure,



We could of course add water!