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JUST CALL ME CLAY
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LYNN Just when I think,
I have seen all that God wants me to see,
He suprises me with another.
I had been misled by a woman whom took me to court,
To have me stop stalking her.
I can now laugh...
She was never pregnant,
She lied to me from the start,
Wrote my therapist telling her that we were broken up,
Before she ever told me.
And in between those dates,
She and I went to have Christmas with my family.
I watched her pledge to me her love and devotion.
And she asked my mother's blessing for us.
What a rip.
I sat in that court room,
Hearing her tell the judge I raped her,
In front of my church friends and minister!
She told him about a military rape,
By another woman.
She told him of a fake son,
That I presumably had been hassling.
She told him about her degrees she didn't have,
And how I tried to spy into her "sealed" records
That are PUBLIC INFORMATION.
She wrote herself an email from my account,
Degrading herself signing my name to it.
(I gave her my password to find out about our X-mas plans.
Because my father was dying of cancer.
And six months after we broke up, he died.)
She printed a poem from my site,
Took it to the cops saying
I sent it to her in the mail.
I couldn't believe it when she married a man
Who nearly raped me when I was a sixth grader.
I couldn't believe all the crap she told "OUR" friends
Of all my friends, I only lost one.
God showed me of how her seeds sew'd her pain,
How she sew'd her dismay and dispair,
BUT TODAY, I could not believe it.
My best friend said
"God will redeem you if you are PURE.
He will show you what she is,
If you have been wronged.
He will make sure you will see her for what she is,
And restore all that you have lost to her,
And bless you with more than you could ever dream.
Have FAITH, and let HIM have HIS way,
Revenge is his, not yours."
It took a long time,
And many times I wanted to throw stones...
I wanted revenge so much.
But I could not throw a stone,
If I too had sin in my heart.
It was the evil of wanting nothing more but death for her.
I didn't want her messing up other's lives,
The way she came into mine,
And turned my world upside down so much,
I lost who I was.
But of all the revenge I could plot,
Of all the things I could wish upon her,
Of all the things I endured,
I never for one minute imagined what this day brought.
While on my knees,
Praying to my Lord,
I felt a presence I had never felt before.
"I have met you in my courtroom.
I didn't know who you were for the longest time,
But you were there for a restraining order or such.
Is that right?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"I remember you and that lady.
You know, I never presided over something so strange.
It wasn't because you were lesbians,
But it was because she opened all of her past.
She divulged her whole life's story.
Then she made assertions you proved were lies.
She said she had a Doctorate and you spied into her records.
Those records are open for public viewing.
I too went to college,
I had to be a lawyer before I became a judge."
I sat amazed.
"My docket was full that day,
And cases usually don't sit long with me.
I have to treat each case different,
Be without emotional baggage from the prior case,
So those feelings don't corrupt a verdict in the next.
It wasn't until later I realized,
That she said you wrote an email degrading her.
I must tell you, it was pretty damning."
He paused to fold his arms,
A stern look came across his face.
What was he thinking?
"When I got home that night,
It donned on me that you refuted every allegation.
You proved she lied about everything except that email.
When I sat and realized the lie of her education,
It donned on me then,
She could have lied about everything else.
It sort of sat in my mind.
I'm usually a pretty good judge of people who lie."
He cocked his head,
Recrossed his legs as he sat in the chair.
"Her body language never gave it away that she was lying.
And I remember how I almost granted her the motion.
You know I prayed a long time,
I didn't know if I'd meet either of you again.
I remember looking up both of your arrest records."
He reached out to put his hand on mine.
"What I found out,
Was that she had been making cases like these,
In Wichita, other cases here in Newton,
And I saw that you were arrested too.
But I know you've been coming here for over a year.
And you haven't been arrested since 2000.
I had hoped you had changed,
And I believe you have."
I lowered my head and tried not to show my shame...
"Stacy, you are okay.
I'm just glad you and her aren't together anymore.
I'm sorry that I almost made a crucial error."
"Judge, it's okay.
We all make mistakes.
God has already shown me that she is very ill.
And He always makes right,
Anything that gets made wrong.
I didn't trust Him then,
But my world has improved immensely.
Unfortunately, I hear hers is still in that same cycle."
We went on to talk about class,
And the other bible study's now availble at church.
We spoke of a many different things.
Before I knew it,
He simply smiled,
"Don't call me Judge, just call me Clay,
We're all brothers and sisters here."
