THIS CROSS UPON MY CHEST

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FOR MY GOD

I have seen the FACE of GOD.

He walked into a library...

He was there during my rape...

He had been in my visions and my dreams...



Why then do I doubt,

Why then do I turn to Him and say,

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

"WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST?"



How is it,

I FORGET,

The most profound moments of my life...

When He walked with me in the flesh.



When I prayed in the library...

No one knew what my prayer was.

My home town, just a few,

And everyone knows everyone else.

SHE came in, and said, "GOD LOVES YOU."

When I asked her name, she replied, "You know who I am."

Yet, I never met her before in my entire life.

When she left me,

I still stood in doubt...

God could not accept me 'gay'.

I ran to every business in town looking for her.

She had vanished...

Departed as mysteriously as she came.



When I was raped and left bleeding...

And old man came and washed me up,

Before sending me home.



Even though I was merely four years old,

In my home town,

Everyone knows everyone else...

Their home, their children, their jobs...

When I went back to thank him,

An empty field stood where I knew his house should be.

And never have I ever seen him since.



So how can I doubt?

How can I forget?



I have a mental illness, that's how.

My depression snowballs until there is just one big

AVALANCHE.

During those times,

I don't know up from down,

Left from Right.



So, I took a wire,

Made it hot, and burned a cross into my chest.



May I never forget...

When HE walked with me...

Cleaned me up after my rape...

That He walks with me every single day of my life...

His love conquers all,

And goes before me and after me.



With this cross,

Every day I get up,

Wash my face,

Brush my hair,

It reminds me,

I can never run away from HIM.

I can never escape HIS reach or his love.

HE has set his mark upon me,

It is permanent like He is...



THIS IS THE CROSS UPON MY CHEST

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