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SHE HAS LOVED ME
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EVELYN & HER FAMILY SHE has bled,
Over herself,
Over her family,
Over me,
Through her addictions,
Where she has lost everything...
Including her
PRIDE,
SELF-RESPECT,
DIGNATY,
And her ability to FORGIVE herself.
She ran from her God,
Unable to believe in His love for her,
That HE COULD FORGIVE her.
Then her thoughts changed...
"God forgives me,
But I can't forgive myself."
I replied,
"By what authority are you to place your status above HIS!"
She looked at me bereft.
"You are saying that you are more powerful than God.
IF you cannot forgive yourself.
What more do you want Christ to do?"
She meditated on it a moment,
Then as she looked into my eyes,
REMEMBERED....
She has loved me.
And I have spat hateful things to her.
She has loved me.
And I resented her for not giving me money,
Because she knew full well I'd use it to get high.
She has loved me.
Even though I have stolen from her.
She has loved me.
She took care of my children when I could not.
She has loved me.
Even though I reported her to police.
She has loved me.
When I would have done anything to keep her away.
She has loved my heart,
Because she looked past my addiction.
She has loved my potential,
Because I could not always believe in it myself.
SHE HAS LOVED ME.
When I look into her eyes...
I know I have been at fault for many things between us,
Pushing too hard,
Saying too much,
And I Judged her even more.
She never knew,
That in all her confusion,
All it took was a look,
A casual look,
And I could feel more in that moment than a whole lifetime.
She never knew,
All my love for her,
Sat in open waiting arms.
And I never knew how to read her mind,
To know when I had tredd on thin ice.
Still, I took the insults,
And sometimes, I hurled them right back,
Not to be evil or cruel,
But that she too nicked a juglar,
And my soul got left bleeding.
We knew how to hit below the belt,
And we knew how to love when things were good,
We just had to meet in the middle,
And love when times got hard,
When times wore us down,
When too many people in our lives told us what to do,
When family applied so much pressure,
Where in the mildest forms,
We resented and blamed each other...
Until things got into a fury,
Over what the others meant,
What the others did,
What the others expected,
Until our relationship crumbled like a massive building
During an EARTHQUAKE.
Now, we are unified,
She loves all of my parts,
In all my fragmentation.
I love her...
In all of her hairy-cary ways
When her nerves of steel vibrate
Until her fear overcomes her mind with panic.
We share a common sisterhood,
Beyond what a relationship can supply,
Beyond that sisterhood in Christ.
I am her cup,
And she is my wine,
And Christ will always be our Rock.
