FOR MY SONG

Folder: 
AJAH

YOU never seem to realize,

That I consider you MINE.



YOU are my ONE TRUE LOVE....



Yes, I have been married before,

And I have lived with other women,

But I never loved them

In a FIRST LOVE FASHION.



If anything,

LYNN SEEMED to be my FIRST LOVE...

BUT nothing about her was real.

THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT HER

I want to cherish,

I want to remember.



If I could take a pill that would allow me,

To just take all the memories of her out of my head,

I'd take it in heartbeat.



Yes, I put myself in jeopardy,

Not once but twice.

I sold myself out to EVELYN to be emotionally raped,

Knowing full well how it would all eventually turn out,

Another trip down crack alley.



But when I met YOU,

I had allowed myself to be victimized so much,

That my every utterance of THEM

Makes YOU feel insecure.



Why?



When YOU hold me,

YOU caringly caress my woes with YOUR mere smile.

YOUR soft touch there...

Where THEY never could.

When I didn't only feel like damaged goods,

But worthless,

YOU were the one who kissed and drank from me,

Like a disciple from a communion cup.



YOU didn't use me for sex...

YOU didn't use me to have a home...

Like THEY did.



YOU are so much better than THEM.

YOU know about computers...

Designing web pages,

Doing amazing things with images,

Making Photo albums with music.

Some of these things may seem

Like easy 50 piece puzzles to YOU--

But I am not so computer literate.

And of my friends that do know how,

Can't do what YOU do.



YOU make

Cupcakes,

Brownies,

And frost them like an artist.



YOUR ability to be a good friend,

Is something I never really knew.

YOUR someone who motivates others to achieve their goals.

YOU give meaning to my life,

Where I want to wake up next to YOU for the rest of my days.



YOU don't make promises YOU don't intend to keep,

Or take pride in the viciousness of fallout.



YOUR laughter is so infectious

To my soul.

YOUR kindness and compassion for those

That others make fun of, demean, and put down

Behind their backs and to their faces,

Astounds me.

YOU respect people, living things,

Hell, YOU made me laugh on Earth Day when YOU hugged a tree.

And I stood proud just watching.



Even though YOU think YOU don't sing well,

YOUR perfomance of WONDERLAND is something I'll cherish

FOREVER.

Especially when I sang LAYLA,

Changed the words from Layla, to Ajah,

Then realized the whole thing

Is a song about a prostitute.



For those times when I thought I'd be proud to take THEM home

To not only see my family

And receive their accolades of approval

Knowing deep down, that my family would always turn me down.



I don't care what my family or friends think anymore.

Not because I'm hurt by my family,

But I knew they'd never be accepting of THEM,

I knew that I should have never been

Accepting of THEM in my life.



We've been to my family,

And I don't care what they think,

YOU are not only my life, my love, but my song.

I will not sell YOU out,

I will not kick YOU out of my life,

I will not kick YOU out of our home.

YOU ARE MY BELOVED.



The way YOU love KITTIE,

Is the way I love YOU.

How could I reduce YOUR affection, YOUR nurturing, YOUR love,

Into an approval game for others opinions,

Who will hold their friendship as an ultimatum,

Where not only YOU,

But I'd be the biggest looser?



YOU have friends whom make YOU laugh,

Like they are this elixir that keeps YOU happy for hours.

My friends are deep, philosophical, and analyze me,

By scrutinizing my life like a therapist.

I still love them, because I do the same things

To them and the choices they make.

Because we neither want the other to get hurt,

Or allow each other to make bad choices that aren't good

For either of us.

But never do we with-hold love,

Or make it conditional.

We accept that sometimes,

Mistakes are our way of learning life lessons

You can just make personal by reading about them.



With THEM,

It was all about THEM.

With YOU,

It's NEVER about YOU,

It's about US,

For US,

For the sake of OUR relationship.



To stay with THEM,

It meant that I had to adapt to what THEY thought was good,

For our lives together.

THEY didn't see that our dreams were different,

And THEY refused to compromise.

YOU understand what is not only important to me,

My faith,

My art,

My writing,

But even my dreams.

YOU listen,

And YOU are willing to find solutions or compromise.



I want to move North,

And YOU to the South.



We are different,

But we are alike.



My song,

Do not misunderstand how much I adore and love YOU.

I want to be not only

A provider for YOUR soul,

But YOUR sole provider.



With YOU,

It's not about sex,

As much as it is a connection of spirit.



I have never believed in "soulmates"...

The concept is so unbelievable nieve,

But I understand it now.

I also understand,

TWIN SOULS.



I told YOU that with YOU,

I live a lifetime in a day.

I want to count my life,

Not by days, but by lifetimes.



YOU make me want to be a better person,

And sometimes, the standard I see YOU being,

Makes me depressed because I don't think I'll ever get to

Where you are.



Maybe YOU are only 18,

But in many ways,

YOU are my HERO.

YOU are a role model I never grew up with.



YOU think that YOUR multiple personalities are a problem.

GIRL, for me this is a normal existence.

How could I ever look down on YOU for that?



I want YOU to be able to look at me and how well I cope,

And tell yourself that YOU will be able to do this too.

I want YOU to be able to take in the words and meaning,

When I tell YOU, "I LOVE YOU".



With YOU,

I not only have hope,

But I have promise in YOUR LOVERSHIP.



YOUR words sooth me,

Like water from a trickling waterfall.

The way YOU touch my heart,

Like a feather,

And unintrusive like wings of a butterfly.

Upon my sores,

YOU land like a gnat.

THEY stomped on my wounds with daggers and razor blades.



YOU may hear me,

PROCESS,

But I'm just now seeing how good it is with YOU,

And I've never realized how much damage that was done to me,

And TO MY HEART.



I never thought I'd never have it so good--

So how could I have ever known what the damage was

If I had nothing good, let alone grand to compare it too.



It is the difference between me and YOUR mother.

I will never hit YOU,

She always will.

My aim is to never hurt YOU,

And she cuts YOU to the quick about YOUR looks.

And I consider YOU my trophy wife.

Women should be falling down before YOU,

Just to get a taste of YOUR friendship,

Let alone YOUR love.



This is why,

I'll never let YOU go,

And be a slave to YOUR changes promoting YOUR GROWTH.

I will be there for YOU, always and in all-ways.



Never in my life,

Would I have believed that GOD had someone for me.

But he game me more than a mere human.

He gave me YOU...

MY SONG

Author's Notes/Comments: 

ADY, I never meant to hurt YOU, I'm just amazed by YOUR healing balm.  For this, I won't care what even my closest friends think,
about YOU, about me, about the age thing.
With YOU, I have the possiblity for all those wonderful things money can't buy.  Loves and hugs, YOUR Eaden

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