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DO NOT ASK ME







Do not ask me to hold you,

Do not ask me if I will let you touch me,

     To drown the feel of your ex,

     In the softness of my skin.



Do not look at me with tear filled wounded eyes.







I CAN show you,

All you will need to know.

BUT you must understand that SHE is over...

I AM ME.

I need to be in your mind,

When I reveal the truth.

You may not believe it,

But you will make some kind of sense of your ex’s life,

You will have to, to understand, to be able to go on.



I know how you think of her,

In all her charm and...

Mentally, how she sexually tied you up in knots.

You remember the way she wanted you to make-love to her.

You remember her un-inhibited ways.

Then you remember how you couldn't keep up.

And next, you remember how disgusting it felt,

    When she manipulated you.



You are not alone.

I have been there.



Then when she does leave...

She screams in your face like it is your fault.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust anyone again."

"I don't know if I'll ever go out with another woman."



Then comes the "order", given by police.

It was given to so many before me...

And I will not be the only one ever given.

Do not be afraid,

You are not the first, and be assured, not even remotely, the last.



She is a bewildered Elephant,

Full of pain,

Trampling all she gets in contact with.

Even her mother hears her untruths...

How horribly sad it must be for her.

But do not be so sure that your ex knows what she is doing.

An elephant is only concerned about the pain…

And your ex like it, knows she is destructive at some level,

But her pain outweighs reality and living in it.



She will tell you that her family wants nothing to do you.

She will keep you away from them,

But THAT is what SHE wants.

You WILL have your day,

To say good-bye to Her family,

To have closure with them.

It seems that they heal the wounds she inflicts.





As for ourselves:

We cannot ruin something that may save us both.

Who but who,

Could understand in all the complexity,

At how we were her victims.

Do your friends understand the hours you take,

Talking about her trying to make sense of it all.

Do they look at you like they are tired...

Because they knew it was over before it ever started?

Do you feel stupid,

Because a smart woman like you,

Should have seen it coming?



I am intelligent,

I am resourceful,

I am articulate.

I did not see Her coming either.

And do not underestimate the mind of an elephant…

Everyone and everything gravitates towards

The direction where the pain we feel

Gets lessoned,



Remember:

We were good, we loved with our whole heart.



And yet, I cannot list this on this poem on my web site,

Not before you and she are over...

Because She may have you move away,

And we will never see each other.

She never wants anyone, “to compare notes”.



I have proof,

Confirmations and denials--

A long line of tales that string absolutely...



NO WHERE!



Do not ask me to hold you...now.

Do not ask me if you can crawl inside my skin,

     To drown her touch.

Do not ask me to be that rebound...

Getting over Her is not easy.



But for the sake of "OUR" salvation,

To be fresh in the knowledge that we are better as allies,

    Than to allow Her to make us foes--

So that when you look at me,

You see me.

And are not blinded by the pain.



I am for the most part over her.

I see you.

I see you in my exact footsteps.

Your shoes sink into snow,

But to you it feels like quick sand.





Understand:

I do not feel as if  I do not need you,

I just don't want to join in a relationship founded



IN PAIN…pain caused by our ex.



I want to be in your mind,

Twenty-four seven.

I want you in my mind,

Twenty-four seven.



We neither one can make another heinous mistake,

We cannot assassinate ourselves,

On the hope of another co-dependant relationship,

Thinking we are finding Love

When in actuality,

We are only trying to find healing in all the wrong places.



We must be grounded in a solid foundation.



For right now,



DO NOT ASK ME...