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THREE HUNDRED SECONDS
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POEMS FOR ME Every day now--
Every day now...
I am taking 300 seconds...just for me...
To stop...Reflect...To be...just me and my thoughts.
My first...60 seconds...
I ponder these questions:
What would my future look like--
In 2 years, 4 years, in 6 years...
If I choose to be with you, or her, or there?
Is it close to what I know
I need?
I want?
I deserve?
I now am already feeling the strains...
Of knowing you will leave me for him...
And she would be making
The mistake of a lifetime...to FEEL MY LOVE
FOR ONE PRECIOUS MOMENT.
As she too would leave...an accidental lesbian...
With me still sitting in this pain I have already tried to...
"ESCAPE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
My second...60 seconds...
If I know what I
Need, Want & Deserve...
Then where do I go to find it?
To be pro-active in my life?
To not become a victim of my own
IMPULSES?
That keep me in detours
Prolonging my happiness from ever
"HAPPENING"
Is this happiness I seek,
Worth so much for the moment...
I overlook the destructive nature of
Your smoke rings blowing around your coffin?
Is this happiness worth
Wanting a life with anyone...
Who will leave me purposly widowed by a
PREMATURE DEATH?
If I cannot heal from this pain--
That nose-dives me into destruction...
If I cannot have the happiness I seek-
What do I do?
And HOW do I stop the cycling of...
Feeling lost, alone, and abandoned,
When I witness loving couples in the park?
Feeling less than,
Because of my educational and work status?
Feeling diminished and marginalized,
Because I am in constant grief over losses?
Where does one find strength with an
Emotionally BANKRUPT SOUL?
My third...60 seconds...
GET PRO-ACTIVE!
P-PLACE one foot ahead of the other, don't wait for
motivation. It never gets near depression.
R-ROLADEX your rescources...inventory friends & help centers.
O-OPTIMIZE the list of options in times of distress.
A-ACTIVATE: "Just do it"-make one step towards a goal daily.
C-CLARIFY your reality's from your ideations.
T-TAKE TIME to be objective about life "BEFORE" it happens.
I-INVEST only in healthy things for yourself.
V-VOLUNTEER your thoughts & perceptions to friends...
They love you too, want what is best for you..
And two heads are better than one.
E-EXIT chaotic stressors, people, places or things.
If it isn't working or not helpful...
Try to find resolution...serenity...or bail.
My fourth...60 seconds...
But I don't know how to live like this...
FRIENDS not becoming LOVERS?
I feel like I'm in school doing homework!
FOR HOURS...NIGHT AFTER NIGHT!
Put up! OR KEEP ON FAILING YOURSELF...
They are your dreams!
How bad do you want them!
It's about "CHOICE"!
C-CONTINUE to extend yourself in social settings...
This helps you find new friends.
H-HALT all..."I can't live without..." GARBAGE THINKING.
O-OPEN up to positive thinking and posititve attitude.
I-INTERIGATE assumptions if your heart is at stake.
C-CREATE solutions not more questions to problems...
You already know the answer to.
E-ENJOY fun for fun's sake!
My fifth...60 seconds...
Amazing...
SO FAR It has only taken...240 SECONDS...
To set up a "plan of strategy"...
Was wallowing in your pain so fun that...
You could not leave it for 300 seconds.
Did doubting and griping PROVE...
That for 300 seconds...
You could not follow a "HOMEWORK" checklist?
DO NOT FEAR!
F-FOLLOW THROUGH
E-EVERY SMALL STEP GETS YOU CLOSER TO
WHAT YOU NEED, WANT, & DESERVE!
A-ALWAYS BE KIND TO YOURSELF!
R-RESET YOUR CLOCK AND BE HERE TOMORROW...
FOR YOUR NEXT THREE HUNDRED SECONDS!
