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GWINNIVERE BERSHEARS
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OTHER WOMEN... I see you in my dreams--
And I have to say,
"I'm so very sorry."
You've sent me to London and France,
Yet my mind turns back to her...
The mirage of my ONCE PERFECT LIFE.
You've kept me busy,
A reason to live.
But I keep falling into that trap...
Where I remember HER smell, HER touch, HER taste...
And languish over the fact,
She didn't exist...
In any real sense at all.
You sent me to study photography in New York...
And you became the subject of my shutters,
As I paned light over your naked body,
Cast shadows on your sloping curves,
Ran intense focused beams...
Up your legs,
Over your hips,
Around your breasts...
ONLY TO MEET THE BEAST--
Where shadows of HER face overtook yours.
And I AM ANGRY, BECAUSE I NO LONGER SEE YOU.
ONLY HER--
A Delusional
Heinously
Average
Relentlessly
Malicious
ASSHOLE!
THAT DHARMA whose anything but:
Peaceful, Loving, Caring, Nurturing...
At least in the long run.
But you are there for me always, and in all-ways,
Taking me to your heart with your soft voice,
Releasing my tension...
Firm hands working away
The burden on my shoulders.
Enticing me with your smile...
Trying to embrace my trust.
Still, I cannot handle you--
Simply saying, "I LOVE YOU."
And even if SHE tried to hug me...
MY BODY would regurgitate,
Repulsed by her betrayal
Inside of me thrown out...
My heart aching for the OLD LOVE I knew,
Feeling that familiar body,
Becoming a defiling notion to my person,
Like touching a corpse long since dead...
AND WREAKS!
As my mind twists in the wind because...
In spite of her LOVE, I WOULD KNOW...
SHE IS EVIL.
And that violent disconnection,
That cataclysmic eruption between heart and mind...
Would spew bile like acid in HER FACE
THE VERY SECOND, I FELT HER ARMS TRY TO EMBRACE ME.
I FEEL UGLY--
I don't want her, yet she lingers in every shadow.
And yet, I cannot EMBRACE YOU.
EVEN: Your caring smile,
Your healing touch,
Your soft tender lips that press against mine...
HURTS!!!!
SIMPLY BECAUSE...
I CANNOT........TRUST!!!!!!!!
