Author Information
Lying to myself
Folder:
2007
I sleep upon a bed of nails
to weak to speak your name
you drown inside my mind
like tear drops in the rain
I break within my body
wanting you again
I walk on hollowed ground
beside my heart's desires
words echo throgh my memories
like footsteps in the hall
My body chilled to stone
you make me so small
I die inside a moon lit night
to proud to tell the thruth
lies take over my being
like a demonic little dance
I hate the fact of knowing
I've given up my chance
ok im going line by line
first one was good
"to weakened to speak your name" maybe it would fix the flow just saying weak
rest of the stanza was really good. last phrase brought it together well.
"I chill my body to stone" perhaps "my body chilled to stone"?
and the last stanza was very good as well, flowed well and ended good.
Nicole.J.Burgesss