PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I feel so conflicted inside
Is this some sort of sign of what is to come

I don’t know what to think
There is so much darkness inside of you
Will you ever be free
Will you bring me down into to it too

Click click
Lights blinking

Why is it seem the best is when we are acting pretending
I don’t want to act with you
I don’t want to pretend

I am starting to feel something
Something familiar without a name

I don’t want to ever loose myself in someone ever again

My skin is crawling
Tingles electrical impulses misfire
An aura this is called

Beauty pain freedom oppression impressions of art hanging on my walls leave me wondering who I really am what do I really represent who the fuck is this girl noises get louder and I cant breathe most of the time with out dreaming of this something this thing with out a name my hopes and fears collide into dust and I wonder what the fuck

You make me burst into flames make me dance
Make me ignite sparks of light of desire and I wonder

Who are you

I fear one day I will wake up one morning and look at you and wonder who the hell you are

I can write so what I can put words on paper so what who gives a shit

Do you really love me

My head sometimes spins faster and faster twirling around and around so fast I can not grasp a single thought faster and faster I spin my mind spins

Am I just flesh what am I I am more than this body more than this mind more than the thoughts I can not think m ore that the fears that dictate my life more more than this

You are more don’t you realize you are more
More than your skin than your mind more than illness more than addiction the afflictions that have plagued you heart for so long more than your dreams more than years and time more than thoughts more than desires more more than I can ever imagine more than can ever be written

I wish I could be more like you to have lost myself in something else so deeply that nothing else mattered

My skin is crawling

I want to get drunk off my ass to be spun out of my mind to not give a fuck

An aura… sounds so pretty for something that is such a pain in the ass

I feel like I am slipping and I don’t know if I care
Maybe you will give up on me too

I wish I had the guts to puke out my guts to slip into myself into my mind to push the cold metal into my flesh to bleed I wish I could snap out of this

You get lost into your music…

Sometimes I always feel lost

Touch me kiss me talk to me fuck me pull me out of this pull me out

Money is so low right now I am tempted to sell myself- whether by stripping or tricking

Touch me kiss me
Pull me out of my mind
Pull me out

Can you hear me crying

My father used to sing that song, “Brown eyed girl” to me.
Sick fuck.

I am afraid of not being heard
I am afraid of worms in my hair
I am afraid of never amounting to anything
I am afraid of loosing my mind
I am afraid of dying
I am afraid of living too long
I am afraid of monkeys
I am afraid of being homeless
I am afraid of not being able to provide for my son
I am afraid of my son hating me when he is a teen
I am afraid of having no family
I am afraid of sleeping alone
I am afraid of cities
I am afraid of driving a car
I am afraid of new people
I am afraid of getting too fat
I am afraid of my eating disorder kicking my ass
I am afraid of getting divorced again
I am afraid of success
I am afraid of cold water being thrown at me
I am afraid of being in a relationship where I never really know my partner
I am afraid of being myself
I am afraid of finding myself
I am afraid of my father
I am afraid of my family
I am afraid of open water
I am afraid of being fearful

Let me disappear
Loose myself

Let me starve myself to the point
I collapse in on myself
And I no longer exist

Let me have an addiction
Let me mutilate my body
Let me become perfect
Let me be wealthy
Let me not care

Perfection is mutilation

I write what ever like they care like my words somehow have power

I need to come out of my skin

I want the darkness to pull me in