Author Information
To my family and friends
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Family I do not expect acceptance, approval, or even basic support or love. Yes, you may say that you will always love me in your hearts, but how can one love what they despise? I have come to realize that I am everything the ones I love hate.
I hid myself for many years trying to make you love me. I knew if I was who I knew I was and if I followed my heart it would cause too much pain. So I acted, played the parts I was given. It was not easy. I convinced myself that I was who you wanted me to be. I wanted nothing more than to make my family happy for them to look back over their lives and my life and be pleased.
It drove me to my breaking point.
I thought that for sure I was going insane. But, I have come to learn that you can not fight yourself, ones own soul and win. A part of you will die.
I want to live, I want to thrive. I am tired of hiding, acting and pretending. I know that doing this may lead to your rejection.
I would rather be hated for what I am than loved for a lie.
I am not confused, for my mind is clearer than it has ever been. This is not some “phase” (as you might put it). I do not expect anything but the release of a burden in knowing I have been honest with myself and with others.
I am a lesbian. This is who I am. I hid it for many years, and even hid relationships knowing that disclosing such information would not only lead to rejection but even a loss of my physical safety. I wanted to make you all happy- and me loving a woman doesn’t fit into that mold very well. In an ideal world our differences would bring us together and make us stronger.
I respect your choices, lifestyle, and beliefs. All I ask for is respect, but I do not expect it. I still love all of you, and wish to have loving, healthy, peaceful relationships with you; my family.
All my love,
Danielle
