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counting coup on the moon

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i counted coup on the moon
darkside encounter
the clouds stood by to witness

grinning like Mick Jagger before a mirror
i took her back with me
moon shamed krass shallow
I fought in bad faith
and ended up hollow

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I transposed the 4th and 5th lines, but other than that it is as originally set out. There seems to be a line missing at line 7 but I can't seem to remember what it should be. I often look at it and feel it should continue, but I just as often feel that it stops where it needs to and makes it's point by seeming to just hang there.

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last updated 29 October 2010 - 11:32pm
©25 May 2003 - 12:30am — arindhol
23 September 2004 - 2:24am — Andrew McCarthy (not verified)
Andrew McCarthy's picture

excellent poem, you wrote no more than you had to-- the density of the words are excellent enough that they produce the desired effect-- i'm incredibly impressed.

5 January 2004 - 6:40am — nienstien (not verified)
nienstien's picture

Counting Coup was a way to prove bravery by touching, not killing, the enemy. It could be done with either the hand or a special coup stick.

I was wondering how you derived the title when the subject matter did not fit... Perhaps the missing line held the answer.

No Matter really... I enjoyed this piece otherwise.

29 May 2017 - 4:16am — arindhol
arindhol's picture

You explanation is the very

You explanation is the very thing that drove this poem. I suspect the missing 7th had them touching their enemy, the moon, thus counting coup.

Parthenogenesis is as parthenogenesis does.

31 December 2003 - 9:08pm — Sarah Allard (not verified)
Sarah Allard's picture

I really admire this poem. i love the moon.