Author Information
thoughts I keep from my father
The nights I made for watching-
following your ribs in their rhythm of intake.
Continued panic in the slows and shakes,
wishing ever so quietly for belief in your heart.
When he touches his chest,
I envision you clutching it in pain.
Wringing out on the sand,
spewing nonsense words of affirmation.
I’ve been made to listen to the settling of your heartbeat–
the stuttering of exhales.
I’ve been made to stand idle while it slows and shakes–
my begging hushed.
I writhe with the pain of your commands.
Your selfish, selfish commands.
Author's Notes/Comments:
Revisiting this, I am
Revisiting this, I am reminded of the many thoughts I could not express to my father. Nothing of mine was ever good enough for him.
Seryddwr
I'm sorry to hear of your
I'm sorry to hear of your painful relationship with him.
I've found that even if expressed, feelings are usually dismissed. I hope you've found some peace with it all.
ë
Thank you. When I underwent
Thank you. When I underwent heart surgery in 2007 (with only three in twenty chances to survive), he and I began to reconcile. He died ten months after my surgery. I think at the end we were closer than we ever had been in my life.
Seryddwr
I am very glad that you got
I am very glad that you got to reconnect after your heart surgery. I hope to reach that point with my father.
ë
This is superlative. Every
This is superlative. Every line is a poem unto itself. Thank you.
Thank you for your comment !
Thank you for your comment !
ë
The emotional intensity of
The emotional intensity of this poem is just off the charts! It is so powerful!!
Seryddwr
I appreciate your view on
I appreciate your view on this!
ë