In darkest sight grew the day,
Once more reproached the wicked storm.
From its bowels sky-light played;
Scouring earth, with misshapen form.
By the sky and through the mist
Trod a steed, bearing stride;
Unaware of tempest's kiss-
Beloved grace was lost aside.
It fled no more the crooked way;
Flight was stayed near darkened hoof;
Beheld the night of lady's grey
O'er the realm black as soot.
Straying whispers begot the tones
Of teeming strains; and there they lay-
Frightened souls, for death be known
By the coming of the blaze.
Inferno echoed in blackened eyes
By the mount's deceitful gaze.
Beyond the flames it cast its blight;
The death of heart; its goal was made.
As breaths of ash smote the eve,
Thou looked upon the stormy night
And held the song of the deed
Which broke the demon's hateful ties.
Greatened light of music swept
Across the wavering bloodied fields;
Lifted far, the fire slept-
For fear of joy; thy voice it wields.
I love how you use grey and gray, which is vulgar. question: am I the demon?
I echo the sentiment expressed here (in the comment above) and I must say, I am bowled over by your expertise in the art of language. You've handpicked these words so carefully that if any were replaced the whole flow would go awry. I am in basking in your aura and am awed at the precision with which you hone your craft. I feel quite archaic with my primitively worded pieces- all cavemannish -like if I was speaking 'me rachel' and writing with a stick in the dirt while you carry on in the most elegant fashion...
anyway... :-)
absolutely lovely....
Thank you, your comments mean
Thank you, your comments mean a lot to me :)
Beautiful poem. Keep writing, you seem to be very good at it. =)
Beautiful. Sad.. touching.... Sorry if my typing is off. About ten minutes after emailing you when I was making dinner I burned my right hand severly and the whole of hte palm had to be smothered in water and it still hurts. But enough with this nonsense. Onto the beauty of you poem! I don't know if you meant it to see ... war like .. I dunno but I just watched "Last Samuria" so anything could seem war like. But the blackened eyes but that could be by the night. Its so.. wonderful. it makes me think. I go over it for hours just looking them over and I can't stop thinking about your poems. I love them ... (You comment on my "I'm Pathetic" poem was the second best compliment I have ever gotten. you're other one was the first..)