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TODAY I SAW SOMEONE THAT WAS DEAD
Today I saw someone that was dead.
Dreams lost to be like the others.
The perfect wife, mother, friend, daughter.
I weep for her. It hurt me to see her soul.
The real part of her dead.
I look at her and see me knowing like me
When the Creator was handing out faces you
grabbed several so that you always were wearing
The right one for any occasion.
There was the church/community face with the perpetual
Fake beauty queen smile like as long as I smile and wave then
No one will know I’m broken on the inside.
The family face.
The one we put on at wedding and/or funerals. It’s the caregiver model.
The always busy, there for everyone yet not there for yourself because you have to make sure everything else is together and running smoothly.
There’s the face we wear everyday either all the time and at varying times during the day.
It’s the nod, smile, answer questions my life is wonderful and there is no way that you can tell me different face.
You tell people what they want to hear because you can’t tell them that you relive the terrors in your dreams every night. You can’t sleep without having a night light. That every time you see someone in a uniform you have a panic attack. You have learned from life experience that they would use them against you. You also are scared to ever let anyone see you cry because they may see you as weak when in truth you are actually getting stronger.
Today I saw someone that was dead.
Dreams lost to be like the others.
The perfect wife, mother, friend, daughter.
I saw it in another woman, yet in so many ways that woman was me.
