~Seeking, Knocking, Asking~

          Looking for the solitude
           in the swirling croud,
       knowing You will meet me there,
            whispering so loud,
        guiding my path so clearly,
            showing me the way
        when I stop the frantic pace
                 & pray...
  
      Watching for the open doors,
          letting closed ones go
    knowing still I want to push them
             open to my will,
   but more than I desire my own way,
          how I long for Yours,
       knowing when You open doors
       time no longer stands still...

      Waiting on Your highest will,
         after settling, so long,
        for only Your acceptable
          & yet, incomplete plan...
   ...willing to go through the time
       it takes to journey through
       the wilderness, & brokenness
          home, my Lord, to You.
                 ***

                               ~By Anastazia Rowe~
                                 Feb 11th, 2004.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

So many people have told me they could never have survived all I've been through, & they have never known anyone who's been through as much as me...but I know the truth, that, in myself, I can do nothing, but with Him, I can do all things...even as I go through the changes He's still bringing me through, day by day, year by year, I have to remind myself that He never gives us more than we can handle....& that I will always have to crucify my tendancy to independance, & the survival techniques I devised to survive my lack of a childhood.
His patience, His waiting for me to return to His presence, His eternal focus, in the face of my limited one, breaks me, brings me to the end of myself, & the foot of the cross, again & again...I wrote this when I sat there one day, gazing at His majesty.  

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