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Undefined
Undefined is the Voice of Culture,
the Voice of Youth,
the Voice of Reason.
It speaks in tones and tongues,
coordinating lavish rhythms with its new language.
Desire is the uttered call,
Death is the ever-aging response.
A collaboration of voices pierces the night air,
creating a forest-like density
only those attuned to it can withstand
or ignore.
They call out to the Night,
invoking It's ghastly secrets and
taking such horrors unto themselves.
The Night is a blessing,
the Night is a curse.
A mythic bond of serenity and hatred,
strengthened by the wail of a thousand broken dreams,
forms and pieces the Puzzle of Youth together.
This is what we are born for,
what we live for,
and what some will die for.
This is not Death,
but nor is it Life;
this is The End.
Wow, I finally get to critique a poem by you using this thing. Yay. =)
So, I like this poem, but I think it needs a little bit more work. Some of the word (mostly verb) choices are kind of weak. There's too many lines that are "_____ is the _______." There are some really good lines and images ("A collaboration of voices pierces the night air, / creating a forest-like density..."), though. The stanza(?) that starts with "A mythic bond..." is kind of hard to read. It is grammatically correct, but I have to keep going back because of the "strenghtened" part. And I'm not sure if you need the last stanza or if it should be separated from the rest of the poem, but if you keep it, I'd put "The End" on one line. I know it's free for interpretation, but you should try to incorporate more...images or ideas or something, because I'm not really understanding what's going on (maybe that's just me though).
Sorry I'm being so critical. I think every poet needs all of their poems to be looked at critically in order to improve; I hope you feel the same way. However, I really like this poem and you should keep working on it because I think it has a lot of potential.