struggle, struggle 

that was on my mind 

can do it , break it through 

cross every line 

i did what i said 

i tried my best

followed by bad luck

in every step


don't believe in it

but face , face everytime 

reality of hard work 

not work everytime

failure , failure whenever i reach

wanted to go back 

will then can i succeed?


i know what i did

had a chance,

tried to give best shot

miss everytime

thought, should give up 

too tired to make another defeated shot

run, run , run away from bad luck of mine

wait, calm let it hit directly this time

try , try again 

even if this failure make a big line..........



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Carcass's picture

Nice motivational piece.  I

Nice motivational piece.  I think to emphasize some more on certain words.  For example "thought. should give up" would have much more meaning if it was displayed:


should give up"


A single word on a line brings focus/emphasis to that word more than a comma.  

alkaharuno's picture

thank you ^^ i'll keep that

thank you ^^ i'll keep that in mind 

allets's picture

Puncuation Absence

is stylistic and a puzzle for mixed meanings to unravel. The near rhymes vanish which is kinda nice and non-interfering. Perseverance? I like that - sassy!