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The happening
I envision myself in a green feild surrounded by sunlight and blue skies,
While I am engulfed in a silence behind my own eyes.
I cannot rationalize. My body is a temple a sanctuary for trickery and white lies.
If all I was were these words. would you learn to accpet or ignore the truth.
I am nothing more than a hologram. You can see my insides.
I cannot hide. even if I killed my pride. You can all still see it buried inside.
What of my mind. when it is able to manipulate scenery and pictures to hide behind.
I am jumping through portals hoping to land in the right spot at the right time.
When asleep I am following this current to lead me to my dreams.
When awake I am wishing I could dissolve in the wind.
What of the conscious mind is left for me to share.
I am talking to my makers in my head. and nobody is responding.
Its incredibly silent in the land of the holy.
If this my path I revoke it. I'll stray off in hopes to fight it.
I am not on good terms with destiny.
Erase my mind and the places I so often find myself escaping to.
Memory lane is a ghetto that I feel tapered to.
God rests on niether shoulder of mine. So when I reach out for some type of message.
I get no response. Am I the only person alive?
The only person that I talk to is myself. Are all these people around me just imaginary?
Am I creating portraits of people that never existed outside my own mind.
I seek the truth. I seek some type of reassurence that I am not the last person walking this earth.
What is it like to not dream of alternate realities and places
where you dont feel trapped in the midst of some one else's duality.
If i could just rip myself in two. and have one to teach me and tell me what to do.
As I carry out some type of dissociative wanderlust.
No reason to speak for eyes says it all.
It must not be a natural phenominon
for things are getting way to complex.
I have no idea what is going to happen next.
I must have made my mind def. it doesnt speak or talk.
I dont think. I just walk and move as if someone else is moving me.
Yet buried underneath my heart superiority complex is a whole lot of heartache.
that tends to rise to the surface when I am feeling like I am floating with little purpose.
In every direction. lacking direction. No signs of affection. I must be a ghost living in purgatory.
forgetting the lesson of life as I wander aimlessly in search of somthing to pull me back.
I wont speak. for my mind has nothing to say.
I am mute. magic is a myth.
some sick game I tried to play.
My eyes reflect the weather.
Today they are grim and grey.
silent foggy cold and still.
its not will power to empower what will.
I am the happening.
and the sad truth is,
I am not sure whats happening.
