PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

So I live with your brother who is my best friend at your granparents house. 

you were married and you have a child. I showed you no attention. 

then you come to me saying you thought I was special. 

I kept you at bay saying were just friends. Then the marrage went south.

Your husband tried to kill you and is now in prison for 6 years.

You moved in instintly to your granparents house.

I find you in my bed. I cant say no.

We have sex, Its the best ive ever had.

So I let you keep coming back.

I get attached and start feeling for your soul.

Caring about you and your child.

wanting to do the right thing and help support you.

Your brother even said i was the best guy you ever hung around. 

I liked the feeling of family. It felt good. It felt like I had a purpous. 

I was happy. More so then ever. 

Then you run off with some other man, 

I just hold my breath. It goes south and you come back to me. 

Me being kind welcome you back with open arms. 

I get wrapped into your games agian. 

we have sex. in the middle of it you say your pregnant and you dont know who the father is. 

I felt like I was going to die. straight up I felt sick and missused and more hurt then ever. 

You decide to keep it. and you run off assuming it was the other persons child. without check up. 

I flee. I am homless for a week surfing couch after couch unsure of what top do with myself. 

unable to make life possible I decide to go back to your granparents. 

You tell me you have a miscarragie and that you love me and your sorry. 

You say it wont happen again and that you want me to be your only one. 

we get close I fall into the games once again. 

I enjoy the feeling I enjoy the illusion of family. 

Then you push me away again. say you need your space. 

only to find out theres someone else. 

and Im just a chase. Im being used. 

it hurts and I feel as if I want to cave in. 

Nothing would prepare me for the damage you caused to me. 

then I continue to deal with. 

I am numb . I feel dead. 

I want you to disappear and never come back. 

I am stuck. I am trapped. 

I am your toy when you are hungry for affection. nothing more. 

nothing less. I have thoughts of suicide. 

I often wish to just run away. I plotted out leavinbg state and just never looking back. 

I adopted a huge drug problem trying to manage these unhumanlike emotions. 

i want to just vanish. and not feel ever again. 

You say you love me. I dont belive in the word. 

I am here watching this all happen and my kindness constantly being used and avused. 

I dont have the courage. To say fuck you. I dont have the courage to say enough is enough. 

infact I cave in and I kiss you. In hopes you will stay. 

in hopes all this shit will be behind us. but its here to stay. 

becuase You are unfortinatly here to stay. 

I am unable to help. yet I still feel and care. 

I welcome death becuase being trapped here is hell. 

when will this pass. 

when will I begin to feel joy again. 

you robbed me of my happiness and all positive emotions. 

for your own enjoyment. 

poor child. poor family. I cant do anything but watch youd estroy yourself and everyone around you. 

I hate you. but yet I still end up fucking you. 

the pain is deep. it cuts like knives through my heart and soul. 

I just want to curl up and sleep forever. 

becuase this is not a normal feeling. 

this is not  normal situation. 

Your killing me. slowly. 

your killing me with my own hands. 

I am at a loss. Lost. 

no where to stand. 

I have crash landed in hell. 

I must walk out somehow. 

but my strength is low. 

my willpower is lacking. 

I am just existing. and your saying I am the one who was wrong. 

when I never wanted you in the first place. 

please god. take me from this place. 

my heart feels like its going to explode with dread.