PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

It started as unplotted desperation.

Overflowing with ambition 

as I kid I never talked I just seemed always  listen

I lived in my head no love in a house hold of a dreamer.

a vacant sanctuary the music was what put me down to sleep.

Tuct me in to bed as I tryed to escape

from how powerless I was in a house of violence.

So as I cosed my eyes I began to become desensitized

I had crystal eyes. gleaming into midnight skys.

seas of people with lights flickering like flireflies.

I was silent but I screamed in mute.

Headphones on people all around.

But still I was alone.

Covered by my shrowd of sound.

I began to distance myself from anything homeward bound.

I had no rest sleep was a test becuase everynight I would go to another place

to escape what was left

of empty bottiles in the kitchen mother on the ground 

sweeping the mess saying there was another theft.

what was next it was al regret.

everyone was self absorbed 

abandoned at stores left at school/

5 mile walks 5th grade in school. 

So I resented people everyone

and I figured no damage could be undone.

Music was the only thing that listened 

when there was nothing left.

Many tries many escapes 

I would run I would hide.

But this pain of mine was world wide.

spent nights in trees.

praying please find something worth suffering for.

Music loud pain louder.

I was confused and thought I couldnt fight out of it.

I slammed and broke everything around

I destroyed anything I ever found.

Hated success and happiness.

and I am only age 10.

Crazy mad insane and sad.

I pulled a knife on dad.

If things couldnt get worse.

I was drugged more than being treated by a nurse.

8 differant drugs taken at once to mask my pain.

perscrition perscribed everyone

and people couldnt understand why I would run.

from anything human or unpredictable

only thing that listened was the sound.

music loud depression louder.

I became to a little vulger.

cold and angry something nasty.

only color I ever enjoyed was pitch black nothing.

spoke so little alone so much a lot to deal with when your only twelve.

it got worse I picked up some stuff and could not get enough

It hid my pain made me feel sane.

too bad it was many illigal drugs of many names.

wounder why people say I am insane.

no one ever noticed me living with little reward 

so I overdosed like a coward.

Now I am 20% def and somewhat vision impared.

I took 20% away from the only thing that cared.

Music is hear I am too.

but when it comes to future present past.

It quit telling me what to do.

hard to relate. always retaliate.

just wanting to just live without all these things

issues isolations. since I was born.

I fell into a terrible place.

natural selection.

was bot kind.

when it had the first twenrty years of my life in mind.

So if this is a sign. The only thing I can do with pride.

is give back all the comfort music tried to insight in me

and play it back as if this is the plan life had for me.