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Loves hates honesty.
or at least it honestly hates me.
I am a pure heart
considered a realist.
I still am confused by these words.
Doesn't everybody say what they feel.
and respect themselves and the people around them.
its not a race to see who is better.
but this always tends to make me a bit forgotten.
chill and passive is not a good way to live I guess.

I ran into an honest mistake a day ago.
a few months of no communication
I still honestly wish we were still communicating.
I made an honest move but I guess I was unclear about my intentions
clouding both our minds with confusion.
yet seeing the aftermath still makes me feel a bit melancholic

It brought back many emotions and feeling I hid away
even tho I am still unable to speak due to another persons request
I still see her shine wishing we maybe still were friends.
life is a mess sometimes.
I just wish I could predict the future
to see if she was in it.
because the not knowing can be a great surprise
or an honest person like myself have his demise.

But honestly if I could I could have that time spent with her.
I would honestly waste it again in the same way.
I was blinded and wanted to pursue her
I was aggressive I fought and lost
now I am passive and just letting whatever happen.
But I honestly wish this didn't happen or play out the way it had
because I could have won the greatest relationship I could of ever had.