PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Dear Justin,
I wish you were here to help me find what it is I need to do.
We were in the same place I understood the pain of what you were dealing with.
where everything is fine yet you still feel like giving in or destroying it.
I wish I new how to fix this flaw of mine where I over analyze everything
The worst part of you being gone is I could see myself acting in the same way.
I have had before where you just get so angry and just black out
and wake up in a deeper mess than before. I cant manage anything once my fuse is lit
everything is on pause and I just get so angry at the world because I cant grab it
I drove reckless without caution today. passing people in a one lane veering people off the road
Took twenty five mile per hour turns at ninety five
trying to out run my head and everything inside.
There were three close calls. when I ran red lights and didn't even flinch.
I have no idea what I was trying to do but I came close to not breathing
I had no intentions. I just couldn't get myself to slow down.
I am afraid of myself for even going there.
Managing emotions are so easy for people.
when i am good I am good.
But when I'm not my world shatters and I create a disaster
I fought my supervisor at work for something so minute and small.
When you crashed I wonder if you ever felt at all.
Were you scared or blinded by anger like myself.
Did you wish it to happen or was it just up for consideration.
was death a relief or was it another complication?
did it ease your pain or are you still suffering from your inside turmoil
I wish you were here to explain why we act this way.
so reckless and full of rage we destroy many things in our way.
are we good people? or are we just cursed with a thinking disease
I thought for a second I would have been where ever you are now after tonight.
call it crazy but I wanted my car to take flight. I am not sure why but it seemed logical
but now I just wish I wasn't so explosive and corrosive upon myself and other people.