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I made it.
Folder:
The Influence These mountains cast huge shadows
Even visable at night.
I gazed many night at the stars
Waiting for one to shoot on by.
I often wished as a kid.
For a life better than this.
Bouncing between households.
In and out of the ward.
Over prescribed.
Lost, in the world.
And in the mind.
Never knew who I was.
Always somewhere else.
Chemically imbalenced.
Unstable short fused
Ready to set my world on fire
Searching all over the world
For something to remove this feeling of neglection.
Drug Rehabs and suicide attempts.
Blaming God for everything wrong with my life.
Schools taking my writing journals
Being sent directly to an institution
For weeks only to leave more fucked up than when I walked in.
Children protevtive services
Setting my family on fire.
Resentment built.
Anything to get out of court ordered visitation.
Vandalism and breaking an entry.
Felony at 13.
A kid without a future.
I would yell at the sky.
I for so long hated everything
The only thing that kept me going was music and a skateboard. The motion and music. I found myself through art and the freedom of expression. Just looking for anything I could control. Because I could not control myself.
Was addicted to live music.
Because I could be forever lost there.
All the pain was a learning experience.
I found strength. Finding love deep inside of myself. Teaching myself my own morals and creating my own reality.
Trying to find create paradise.
Paradise is not a destination.
It's a state of mind.
Until it sank in.
Traveled to the others side of the country.
Now i look up at the stars again
After all the beauty i found.
Star struck. Nothing but respect and beauty for the world.
After all I believe I may have found happiness.
