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Guilty Pleasures
Folder:
whole lotta other stuff Guilty Pleasures
no matter which way I turn I can never seem to learn
it may be that someday just as a lesson I will burn
I don’t feel guilty about any of this
can I get a witness
so bring your dancing shoes
because life is about doing what we choose
why walk when we can run
I’m just talking about a little harmless fun
play your screaming guitars
shoot for the stars
moan on my Mississippi saxophone
here's to never ever being alone
I have to enjoy myself
even if that means I put my books back up on the shelf
if I have to travel the world
while getting swirled and twirled
and I drink a little too much
feel even if I never touch
let her show me a little too much skin
then brothers and sisters I’m in like Flynn
and that's what I have to do
or, I’ll feel a little more than blue
I am talking about all of life’s sweet little treasures
I'm addicted to Life’s Guilty Pleasures
These lines were thematic:
"Even if for it someday I’ll burn.
I don’t feel guilty about any of this."
I understand, I believe, where you are coming from. I don't agree, but I do understand.
Interesting verse written in rhyme, centered onscreen, beginning each line with a capital letter, and each line is a complete sentence. Hmmm ... wondering why you chose this format.
This line's a fragment: "Even if for it someday I’ll burn." Suggest you tie it to the first line.
This line needs to omit the comma: "Even if that means, I put my books back up on the shelf." Same here: "While getting swirled, and twirled." Ditto here and "then" is "than" in this context: "Or, I’ll feel a little more then blue."
More to be said if you're interested; if not, I'll understand.
Take care.
-- Caroligné
it scares me a little. but i really like it. good imagery and such, of course in addition to just being awesome.