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i feel so shitty right now

i think there's something wrong with me

i'll probably need to see a psychiatrist

i dont want to do this

the worst fear of all to me is being betrayed

i dont know why i wanted to say that

its like i'm always mad about something and sometimes i just fear that someone's going to betray do something awfully hurtful to me

sometimes i try to tell someone how i feel and something ends up getting in the way and i won't be able to finish what i'm saying

my mom is a good listener, we just differ in age, she knows more than i do

my mom divorced my dad when i was 10, he was very cold

my stepfather died when i was 18

i love lorenzo, its just that i guess i want the most attention that he's willing to give

i dont like the girls that are his friends

they make me wonder if they're there to ruin things

i dont trust people

sometimes i think they deliberately do stuff to hurt people

i dont want to say anymore

i hate pouring my heart out

i dont want to say anymore

cause once i start talking, i won't shut up

i'll feel miserable

and go to bed crying

have you told anybody else this before?

i dont remember

i guess i've tried to tell someone or maybe i've just felt that way and don't have the guts to tell them

So am i craving attention?

Or do you think i'm sad?

Really.. sad.