Wandering Pilgrim

I wander this dark path in search of answers.

But the darkness of loneliness is no stranger to me,

I've encountered it many times before,

ever since I began my journey.



I'd ask myself, "Why can I not find what I'm looking for?";

I'd also see others on a similar path and think,

"Why can they not see it, it's right before their very eyes, are they blind!?"



What a fool I was to think this, how pompous and arrogant,

for I knew not what I, myself, was searching for.

I had just about given up when, right before my eyes, it appeared.

A Kingdom with walls that touched the sky and fulfilled my dreams.

It was glorious and She beckoned me to stay.



So I stayed and soon became a part of Her.

She was everything to me, I would live life to the fullest everyday I was there.

But there was something odd about this place, something I never expected.

I would talk to the inhabitants of this Kingdom only to find they did not reply.

I would try to reach out and touch them, but they would only turn away from me.



But now I can't even say those things or touch them anymore because I have been cast out,

excommunicated, and I no longer have that right, that privilege.

I should have tried harder for I've lost my title in that kingdom,

but more than that, I've lost a piece of my life.



It was such a joy to be there, how can I live without Her?

It was Divine and I lived as a god, more angelic than any star in the sky.

But no more, the castle walls that were once the foundation

of my dreams have now crumbled with the tides of time.

For no kingdom can last forever, Its downfall is the inevitable constant of the universe.



And so, I continue my journey down a new path,

with more understanding and yet, still no answers and much more despair.

For now I wander a barren desert where no sane person would dare traverse,

let alone build a kingdom.



But what if Her walls were made of the purest gold,

christened with the touch of love so that no army, no force, not time itself

could penetrate its depths? Pure perfection would be the result,

and the inhabitants inside would entrust their lives to those walls,

Knowing they would never come to harm.



Such a place exists, I know this for sure, but I would be hard pressed to find it.

Even if I did make it past this desert shore line,

there is only one way I could ever find this place.

For it lies deep within the tides of my heart

and waves crash at its shores blinding its sight from me.

And only the one that calms the storm and turmoil of my heart can lead the way.



But who is it? is it the spirit that still survives from that great Kingdom that I once knew,

is it Her? Only She can answer that. But I can't ask Her because I can't find Her,

I can't talk to Her because I don't have that right anymore.

I've lost my title and my place in that Kingdom,

so I am condemned to walk this barren desert path in hopes that She'll show Her face to me

with only the ravages of time to guide me.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

A journey taken by the heart has it's own terrains, there's a story to tell with each one.

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