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Why Must I?
I always wish…
That I can just stop pulling away from people
When they try to get close to me and…
Take the time of day to get to know them better
Trying their best to improve our friendship
Being patient all this time
While I push and shove them away
Like it was all a misunderstanding
Every time they try to get close to me
Whenever, I get a chance to talk to them about me
All of a sudden, I just simply, freeze up and
Forget everything; I’ve always wanted to say to them
After all these years of planning inside of my head
Of what to say and prove to them I want to be a friend to them and
Show them that I want to straighten things out between us
Has all been lost in that very moment, I just freeze up and forget…?
I really want to take the time to find out
Why a part of me wants to push and shove away my true friends
I want to take the time to get to just simply talk to my friends about me and…
Why I am the way I am with them this very moment
I just can’t seem to find the right words to say to them
That I was hoping for all along
It had been planned inside my mind all these years
Careful planning and thought was lost in that very moment
When I had so many chances before to get to know each and everyone of them better and had many chances before to make all this come true
I let my doubts and fears get the best of me
What I didn’t realize was that I was thinking negatively
All I had to do was convince myself that if I didn’t think positively
I’ll be missing out on many of the great things in life
And realize what your true friends are for
The question I find asking myself retentively is…
Why must I pull away from my true friends when they get close to me?
I guess it’s the fact that I just don’t want to experience all the pain and sorrow
I’ve been through my whole life
I can’t bear to relive the experiences that have greatly affected my life and caused my heart to ache with such sorrow and darkness
I just wish there was a miracle
That’ll help me overcome my doubts and fears
That way, my friends won’t find it difficult at times
To get close to me and take their time to get to know me better
If only, there was a way
People won’t find it hard to get close to me sometimes
I’ve learned that I just got to be patient with all this and take the time to overcome my doubts and fears
So…I can leave them behind me and be glad that I didn’t live in fear my whole life
I now know, that it’ll take time for me to overcome my lack of trust
That I have for people sometimes
I can simply make all this come true
If I just be true to myself and my heart
