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I close my eyes

And set down my pen

Set my head on the table

To wonder how it all began

Why did I even start?

How should I make it end?

What if I continued?

Is it all worth trying again?



Darkness fades

Black to grey

Open eyes light the way

Nothing quite like I expected

My deepest fear's been resurrected

I see my hands

Dried and bleached by the sun

Holding this rope

Not knowing what should be done

And as I try to climb

Flesh appears on my hollowed bones

But every time

I slip back down, from the blood I suppose

Back now to where I began

All that has grown starts to decay

Trying as hard as I can

With what little strength still remains

Faded faith

Repressed by this weakening will

Shattered spine

Being forcefully replaced with stainless steel





These feet are still my own

Maybe the only thing I have left

The only thing that'll get me home

Even my hands are constantly forced

Through evil deeds and those of good

This invincible presence sets my course

Some will say I still have my mind

Though I hate these dreams and fucked up memories

My freedoms and choices are left far behind

All in all I'm the only one to blame

I raised my hand fully aware of the oath

Fully aware it was me when I'm no longer sane

It started with me and that's how it ends

My box, my hole, my own situation

I tried my best, my heart will contend

Now with that the truth will be set aside

I'm still in control of my own two feet

But by actions my thoughts will always be defied

I saw it all happen

Unfolding before my very own eyes

I chose to go and help

Maybe I should have just ran to hide

Maybe my convictions never came clear

Driven by pity?

Driven by love?

Nope, driven by fear

And before I let you know why

I'm going to end this, right now, right here...