#loss #words #lossforwords #ataloss

AT A LOSS FOR WORDS

Folder: 
DUSTY CRUSTIES

 

I’m speechless

I’m at a loss for words

I don’t know what to say

 

The decay, limpid destruction

accursed hatreds age old feuds

the knights in shining armor

              begin to rust

the faded glory of medieval times

of post modern delusions

       of equality

 

what with AIDS and censorship

              with the winds of change

blowing a foul wind back

            toward the past

      with armies of the dull

                     & wretched

seeking passage backwards

to another era

 

seeking it myself

meditating on an empty stomach

eating hashish

instead of food

watching junkies and cops

           collide in

abandoned warehouses

 

an ugly methanol fire

burns in my imagination

and I can’t put it out

just won’t pass

no water hose available

and it just won’t smother

                 under pressure

 

Hitler’s ghost was reborn

in Portland, Oregon

and saints are made

of murderers and false prohpets.

The devil in Koresh

corrupted the minds

of hundreds—perhaps more

 

and I’m at a loss for words

as to what to say

The orator silently

              dashes off

unadulterated monologues

 

the death of Ryan White

didn’t make much sense

neither Lenny Bias

or Richard Brautigan

      but we persist

             persevere

through the endless smog

 

L.A. crumbled

Nike bankrupted the souls

of mindless youth

Educators took much

political correctness

and died of asphyxiation

 

no one cried

for the Central Park jogger

no one gave a fuck

about Yusef Hawkins

I didn’t even hear about

the death of the soul

The winged messenger

was silenced by a bribe

 

The golden tranquility

was shattered

pain surmounted

anger intensified

the alcohol numbed logic

long enough for a riot

to conquer quaint

New England town

 

What else new?

Four year old thrown

in a river by her father

a nagging recession

in the era of Clinton

with deities of green paper

 

heard in a restaurant

the cries of indigenous races

extinction of compassion

on the brink of fashion

on the cutting edge

                of passion

 

I am at a loss for words

$275 haircuts

bully on the radio

comics persecuted for

inducing laughter

 

no one cried

but feelings were hurt

Aw, come on now

Who really gives a damn?

the fate of the planet

may be everyone’s responsibility

but everyone

is at liberty

        to disagree

 

and everyone usurps hope

some unable to cope

fake orgasms are one thing

     fake love is another

a bird in the tree sings

                  we have

no desire to listen

        to the sweet melody

 

in harmonious gesture

the Bosnia and South Africa

         keep the spirit

              of Apartheid alive

thorns of hatred

          rip the flesh

spitting out fertile blood

that goes uncultivated

 

Anger in Seattle

Hatred in Indonesia

          Muslims spitting

venom at Jews

             and vica versa

a dweeb named Yasir

all kinds of excuses

for inertness

 

My inaction is the result

of my loss of words

my inability

to communicate with anyone

My failure to respond

rooted in broken teeth

and stained, faded jeans

 

heard in a nutshell

music from another land

         with strange language

intimidating my intellect

            but enthralled

I continue to listen

 

I saw the wretched cry

I heard the crack of the whip

It’s sick crackle

fresh on my memory

screams are crying out

from each corner of the world

 

nobody home

the phone keeps ringing

I’m too tied up at the office

in mass global market confusion

the listening masses hunch

in this backroom abortion

 

The First Amendment

soaked in presidential urine

            but

I fanatically gesture

for its resurrection

and inevitable rebirth;

an awakening of hope

 

my mystical yearning subsides

      without realization

a shaman was not my destiny

neither guru or griot

those time honored ranks

          denied me

not even a troubadour

 

Well, the whole world

is all fucked up

and I still don’t know

what to say or do

In this age of crisis

I find myself mute;

my mouth unable to move

silently peering on

at a total loss for words

 

5-26-93

 

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