The Opera of Magical Vaginas
An Opera by Wolf Larsen
For Phil & Leo
Act One
Hammers & saws & drills all begin creating the opera in a rhythmic racket of CRASH-BAM-WOW! The hammers all pounding in unison together sound like the earth being created! And the saws sound like the Atlantic Ocean being split into two! The drills sound like monsters crawling & jumping into your head by the thousands! As they labor creating the opera together the Workmen sing, "Welcome to the opera! Jump on in! The poet with his endless basket of words is giving birth to the opera! Every Human on earth will sing this opera! The opera is being written on the eve of the great change – soon those who labor will rule the earth!"
Then everything is a mesmerizing silence. The Workmen & Workwomen dance away off the stage.
That's when the piano begins creating a delicious reader. The violins dash-back-&-forth like hatred and anger making love to each other. Meanwhile the opera singers jump out on stage and run through the audience throwing off their clothes and singing & shouting out obscenities & vulgarities & endless indecencies.
"I eat the music! I sing the past! I sing the future!" sings out Marie Antoinette. As she sings Marie Antoinette moves & dances like exotic colorful dragonflies.
The clarinet starts flying like an exotic colorful dragonfly. Then the flute & then the piccolo also begin flying like exotic colorful dragonflies. Then the entire horn section begins all flying like exotic colorful dragonflies. And now the entire orchestra sounds like exotic colorful dragonflies flying everywhere!
Charles Manson & Idi Amin are up on stage. They put their arms around each other in a romantic embrace and sing, "We are all the sweetness of Apocalypse! There is no tomorrow! We will swallow all your tomorrows! We sing death upon you all! This is the wondrous beauty you've all been waiting for – your deaths!" As they sing together Charles Manson & Idi Amin do a homoerotic dance together. The clarinet & flute join their dance.
Frederick Nietzsche is on stage too. He sings, "This is the dialogue of vandalism. I shoot my melancholy full of bullet holes! I suffer and I suffer and I suffer..." While he sings Frederick Nietzsche dances like a dinger and a dapper and a cow wow. The triangle plays the dinger and the trombone plays the dapper and the tuba plays the cow wow.
Marie Antoinette sings together with Idi Amin, "Suffering is beautiful! Give me the whips of joy! Give me ravishing orgasms and happy sweet bullets in the brain!"
A skinny dying homosexual sings out, "I loved with death all around me! And I will die with love! AIDS is the delicious dessert with which I shall end my life!"
Then that same homosexual five years ago with his tremendous masculine body walks up and sits next to the dying skinny homosexual that is the same person five years later and they both sing together, "I was a youthful strong everything! I danced through the nights like a god of sensuality! I walked through the days like a handsome god of the sidewalks! And in my strong arms I held beautiful men! But now I carve death & longing into all my words! And now my sadness is a song that never ends." The two men who are the same man dance together like birth & love & disease & death. As they dance the piccolo & a double bass dance together as well.
Caligula is also onstage! He sings, "War is as beautiful as death! These wars are as blissful & serene as mass castrations of whole generations of men! I sing with war! I touch the war! I celebrate & feast amongst all the rising tide of blood from the war!" As he sings Caligula dances like a great big happy yellow in the sky.
Josephine Baker comes and dances with Caligula. They dance & dance together as they sing, "I FUCK! YOU FUCK! WE ALL FUCK! I FUCK! YOU FUCK! WE ALL FUCK!"
And Marie Antoinette & Idi Amin dance & sing together, "We fuck like whispers. We fuck like time disappearing! We fuck like delicious vanilla & chocolate swirling around each other!" As they sing Marie Antoinette & Idi Amin dance together like lynch mobs & love choruses. The orchestra plays kisses and insanity and interracial orgies all across the earth.
A human-sized cockroach slithers & crawls up on stage. The human-sized cockroach sings, "I want joy! I want fuck! I want drunk!" The big cockroach dances like billions of human faces floating out of all the centuries and into your imagination.
And then half a dozen human-sized pigs in suits sing, "Vote for me! I'm the diarrhea you've been waiting your whole life for! Vote for me! Once I get to parliament or Congress or the top of the moon I will heershamingle and bloopdadee and mershilemangle! Vote for me! I'm for diarrhea! I'm for blood! I'm for you! You're for me! Vote for me! Let's all unite this great nation and make some wow zow slchmow together! Let's all wipe each other's asses together! It will be beautiful! An entire nation of millions & millions all wiping each other's asses! There's nothing more patriotic than everybody wiping each other's asses together! So bananas! So sunlight! So marshmallows! Vote for me! Vote for me! Vote for me!" As they sing all the pigs in suits dance to the sound of cash registers and air raid sirens.
Then the orchestra plays the American national anthem mixed with the melody of air raid sirens.
Copyright 2011 by Wolf Larsen