DROPLETS OF BRILLIANCE
Silence is golden.
Ignorance is bliss.
In the patter of rain
I hear thumping
and hiss.
Droplets of brilliance
In oceans of rain.
Love lifts you up,
Thump!
Passion let's you down,
Hiss!
Rebuttal is butted,
Drip!
Refusal is quit,
Mist.
I see through it.
I hear over it.
It's under my skin.
It stains, it Maims.
It misses, it muses.
It riddles, it fiddles
With your brain.
Droplets of brilliance
In oceans of ordinary
Droplets of rain.
(c) SSMoothie
I guess the rhyming is a little messy but the way I read it, it's really a cute, cute poem!! I enjoyed it really.
Nothing personal, I just don't think that rhyming is good for contemporary poetry.
However, in spite of the rhyming this is a good poem.
Thump! Hiss! Drip! That kind of stuff really helps out the poem a lot, gives it a fun powerful rhythm!
Hey, thanks for your comment Wolfe, :) yes I definately see your point about contemporary poetry , thank you for sharing your views. I did very much like that combination of words :) they were two ideas merged together with drops of brilliance in oceans of ordinary. Well I tried, hopefully I did it some kind of justice it was inspired from sun showers over the sea.
for me contemporary is by definintion what people are doing now, and includes revivals ;) i like to explore and experiment with many different styles and as poets we each of us have our on style but I like to challenge my self with the limits of rhyme, or sometimes just duck and weave in and out of styles. I like lyrical poems but the ideas are king for me not a particular style so I rhyme sometimes and others I don't. But poetry is sounding a lot more like prose and creative writing... So I like to honour the intial idea of poetry limmericks and verse it's self with rhythm and rhyme from time to time, lest we think It obsolete Gasp! Thanks again :) cheers SS
For we, the untrained and destroyers of true poetry I must say...
I know nothing of contemporary, or form, a bit about rhyme and rate such as Dr. Seuss or pleasant and appealing to both read and to hear. Something I do know,... I really enjoyed reading your poem. Honestly and thought I'd add to the well placed, meaningful criticisms a genuine applause. Thanks for posting. I don't know good from dung, but I know what I like to read and what touches me when I do.
Aww thank you so much! I will make a point of reading more your work when I get a proper Internet connection :) cheers SS